On one hand, if I only read books written by people who think like me, I don’t grow. My ideas aren’t challenged. I’m not forced back to God’s Word to be sure I understand it. However, books about the Christian life that are written by people who reject the truth of the scripture aren’t really about the Christian life. They are about a made-up religion whose God has been shaped by man, not about true religion where a man (or woman) has been shaped by God.

For now, I’m going to continue to read books recommended by trustworthy sources, authors, friends, and leaders. I may occasionally read a book written by a blogger I follow whose story is compelling or a popular book that is getting lots of media coverage.

With the sheer volume of content in the marketplace, we must all filter what we read. What is your filter? How do you evaluate your Christian book choices?

The ad troubled me. I couldn’t help but wonder what “getting the church back to what it used to be in this country” meant.

Here are some of the descriptions that came to my mind:

• I thought of hard wooden church pews and funeral home fans.
• I thought of piano music and well-worn hymnals.
• I thought of a cultural Christianity where the label Christian was synonymous with “good moral person,” not sold out follower of Christ.
• I thought of churches more committed to tradition, facilities, history, and denominational loyalty than the call of Christ for today.
• I thought of a group of believers complacent from living in a culture where Christian = good moral person.
• I thought of an organization more committed to the democratic process than the leadership of Christ.
• I thought of Laodicea.

Perhaps you think I’m a bit harsh. I will acknowledge that for all of her faults and blemishes, this church of the past has served me well. I have been taught by faithful children’s pastors, Sunday School teachers, youth leaders, and senior pastors. I am the beneficiary of a lifetime of church attendance, of teaching, and of serving. The church of the past was not ALL bad.   The danger, however, is in thinking that she was ALL good.

As a committed follower of Christ be certain that you don’t long too deeply for the past. You run the risk of making an idealized view of what-used-to-be your idol.

Remember, the state of our world today is the natural outworking of the decisions we made in the past. Let’s not wish for a repeat of that.

• I can do it. I can’t do everything.  My time is my most valuable asset and my commitment to God can be gauged my how I spend my time.
• A full schedule indicates a full life. A schedule that is too full hinders the movement of God in my life.  I have become so protective of my time I don’t spend as much on people in spontaneous situations where God works.



• There will be time in the future to do x. If there is something important to me, I need to prioritize it, put it on a list, and get it done.
• Owning property is a way to personal security. My security is in Christ, not my things.

These are just a few things on my mind lately.  What about you?  Are there any ideas that you’re giving up?

I seek at the beginning to get my heart into such a state that it has no will of its own in regard to a given matter. Nine-tenths of the trouble with people generally is just here. Nine-tenths of the difficulties are over come when our hearts are ready to do the Lord’s will, whatever it may be. When one is truly in this state, it is usually but a little way to the knowledge of what His will is.

This statement has been like a hot coal burning in my mind. It has made me realize how many of my prayers are centered on what I want to happen, and not what God wants. I have been trying to “get my heart into such a state that is has no will of it’s own” and it is HARD.

Muller says my goal in prayer should be to jettison what I think is best, what I want, what would be most comfortable for me, and to approach God with a blank slate. I have made it my personal challenge to pray this way about one particular area of my life. Did I say it was hard? It’s been nearly impossible.

Until now, I’ve been blissfully unaware of how much I pray using the phrases “I want,” “I think,” “I need.” Suddenly, I am aware of how much my own motives impact my prayers. When I take the “I” out of my prayers, I don’t know how to pray. The most shocking revelation is that for years, I thought I was praying deeply, intensely, and powerfully.

I’m not saying that the last 8 years of ministry have been for naught. God has done amazing things. I’ve seen babies healed, addicts set free, new life begun, old habits left behind, needs provided, and the Kingdom advanced. God has blessed us beyond measure. But I’ve known somewhere deep inside, that God wanted more … more of me.

Imagine discovering one day that the face you’ve seen in the mirror all of your life really isn’t your face. That is how I feel. It is as if the mirror has been a grand illusion. Instead of having fair skin, red hair, and freckles, it’s as if I really look like the Wicked Witch of the West. I have believed myself to be faithful in prayer, seeking God selflessly and intently. Now I see that I’ve been motivated, at least in part, by my own selfishness. Self-awareness is a scary thing (at least when you’re me).

Praise God that he continues to be patient and merciful. Today, I’m asking him to make his will clear in a particular situation. I’m asking him to help me see the Wicked Witch of the West more clearly. Not so that I will think more meanly of myself, but so that I will really know how much better his ways are than mine. And maybe very soon, I’ll be able to say I’ve gotten my heart into a state where it has no will of its own.

Facebook.  Twitter. Blogs. Cable News. Internet News.  Talk Radio.  Internet Radio.  Music. NPR. Myspace.  Books.  Movies.  Television.

With the exception of the Bible, and a Bible study I’m currently committed to, the rest is off limits.

My goal is to remove some of the clutter from my mind.  I want to refocus on what is important.  I want to read God’s word like I’ve never seen it before.  I want to hear what He says, not what I’ve been taught.

Now that you think I’ve lost my mind, here’s the backstory . . .

The first man has a deep love of the scriptures and the God they reveal.  With power and energy, he exuberantly declared  several psalms from memory leading us all in praise.  He has traveled the world serving others and loving people of all creeds.  He is working to heal a wounded church left heartbroken in the wake of failed leadership.  He is truly a man of God.  But in the midst of all of this he asks, “Do I really believe this book?  Not — do I believe it’s inerrant?  Not — do I believe it’s accurate?  But do I really believe its true?”

He isn’t questioning the reality of God or the sufficiency of Christ, he is questioning his own heart.  Questioning his own desire to follow.  Me too.

The second talked about his love for the church, God’s body on earth.  He talked about the disillusionment he experienced as he lead a ‘thriving’ congregation and the frustration he felt when his successful church didn’t resemble the biblical accounts in Acts.  He talked about leaving the church he founded because he was so troubled by the desparity between his successful church and the Bible.   After serious introspection, he returned to the church he founded with a new commitment to follow the example we see in Acts.  He is now following Christ by loving people in radical way.

A common thread became clear.  Each man is seeking after God.  They don’t want rules or religion.  They don’t want formalities and programs.  They want to know and follow God.  And not just as individuals, but in unity and communion with other people.

I have been deeply challenged.  As I look at my own life and as I look at my relationship with others both inside and outside the church, I know things aren’t as they should be.  But what troubles me most, is that I’ve known this for some time and have done nothing.  I’ve filled my head with so much information, that I have no room left to focus seriously on the only place where the answer can be found, God’s word.  Today, I’ve decided to do something.

In Jeremiah 29:13, God says:

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. (emphasis mine)

Today, I am taking You at Your word. I am seeking.

Across the table was her father, completely focused on her every word.  He responded to her ideas.  He probed and prompted more discussion.   She paused and pondered after he spoke, then responded with dancing eyes and expressive hands.  Without a hesitation in her words, she propped her sneaker-clad foot on his knee.  He patted her calf in acknowledgment and continued the conversation.

I was mesmerized.  Neither of them, by themselves, would have been remarkable.  But together, they were thrilling to watch.

He never once looked at a cell phone.  He didn’t check his watch.  He didn’t have a newspaper or a magazine.  He was there.  All there.

In one moment, I saw the answer to all that ails our world.  As I eavesdropped on this family moment, I thought:

• What if every daughter had a dad who would take her to a Friday lunch?
• What if every daughter felt comfortable to dream out loud to her dad?
• What if every dad encouraged those dreams?

At home, I looked at my two bright-eyed children.  I remember the times I’ve responded to their ideas with a single word:

“Really?”

“Uh huh.”

“I see.”

“Wow.”

“That’s great.”

Do I really listen?  Do I really give my children my focused attention?  Not enough.

I remembered the anonymous man who is changing the world.  Today, I will really talk to my kids.

From Chapter 1:

Something awful has happened, something terrible. Something worse, even, than the fall of man. For in that greatest of all tragedies, we merely lost Paradise–and with it, everything that made life worth living. What has happened since is unthinkable: we’ve gotten used to it. We’re broken in to the idea that this is just the way things are. The people who walk in great darkness have adjusted their eyes.

From Chapter 3:

Christianity takes desire seriously, far more seriously than the Stoic or the mere hedonist. Christianity refuses to budge from the fact that man was made for pleasure, that his beginning and his end is paradise, and that the goal of living is to find Life. Jesus knows the dilemma of desire, and he speaks to it in nearly everything he says.
…
Christianity recognizes that we have desire gone mad within us. But id does not seek to rectify the problem by killing desire; rather, it seeks the healing of desire, just as it seeks the healing of every other part of our human being.
…
Something has gone wrong in us, very wrong indeed. So wrong that we have to be told that joy is found not in having another man’s wife, but in having our own. But the point is not the law; the point is joy. Need I say more than this: modern Christianity has brought an entire group of people to the point where they have to be told that sex is, in the words of one book, “intended for pleasure.”
…
This is the great lost truth of the Christian faith, that correction of Judaism made by Jesus and passed on to us: the goal of morality is not morality — it is ecstasy. You are intended for pleasure!

These ideas are still percolating in my brain.  I’m sure I’ll have something thoughtful to add soon!

I have allowed my own insecurity, fear of failure, and fear of other’s opinions stop my work. This forum was intended to be a place for Bible study and conversation. It has turned into something else.

I have been reading and studying in preparation to write on Psalm 18. This passage has always spoken to me. It is the culmination of King David’s experiences on the run from King Saul. It is his personal heartfelt worship to God for the deliverance he’d received.

I don’t have any idea when my study will be ready. I only know that I need to have a good handle on all the background (1st and 2nd Samuel) before I can complete such an undertaking.

Until then, you can read my first study on Exodus. I look forward to sharing with you as God speaks to me.

• God’s Desire for Relationship: Exodus 19-34
• Does God Really Provide?
• Listening to God
• Consuming Fire
• Bridging the Old and New
• Church is Broken
• Who is First?
• Distinguishing Characteristics

The small one replied, “But I am not good at whispering. And, people cannot hear whispers clearly anyway. Surely your message deserves a shout!”

“I have shouters. I have singers. I have artists. I have builders. I have planters. I have sewers. I have reapers. They all have their place. But you, you are to be my whisperer.”

The small voice grew louder in response. “But I can shout! I am small and I have learned to shout. I can speak your wonders from the mountaintop. Being heard is my specialty. It is a skill I have cultivated for many years. Surely it can be of some use to you. It would be a shame to let my experience go to waste.”

“You are to be a whisperer,” the Great One said patiently.

“But they will not hear me . . . ” she said, her voice now quivering.

“They don’t always hear me, dear one.”

Her tears now flowed, “But I don’t know how to whisper. And if I do learn how, what will I say?”

“I am the Great Whisperer. I will tell you.”

“But Your voice is hard for me to hear.”

“Then you must listen closely, little one.”

The She Speaks Conference is an event for women teachers, writers, and ministry leaders to find their voice, learn to communicate their message, and be encouraged by others who have gone before. It is a unique opportunity to learn more about the special gift of women’s ministry. I am just starting on a journey that has been a long time coming. God has been whispering and I have been nervously moving in His direction. He has called me to write.

Today’s post is my application for a scholarship to She Speaks.  This conference will be my first opportunity to talk to others who have found their voice, to learn from their experiences, and to begin to communicate the ideas that have been placed in my head and on my heart.

Sincere thanks to Lysa TerKeurst and her ministry team for all that you do. May God continue to bless the work He has started.