The Best Marriage Advice I Ever Received

With the wisdom of 19 years, I sat across the desk from the most godly man I had ever known.  My pastor, an immigrant from Greece, was an unlikely leader of our small-town homogeneous congregation.  I had very little exposure to people outside of our white middle-class world and his accent added to his authority.

My soon-to-be husband sat next to me as we started our marriage counseling.  We must have appeared so young, naive, and blissfully ignorant — indeed, we were.  I saw these meetings as a test; I needed to have the right answers to all his questions.  Where will you go to church?  Do you want children?  How many?  What makes you think you’re ready to make this decision?
Read More »

Posted in Life | Tagged , | 8 Comments

You don’t have to be a better mommy

I sat in our kitchen with my head in my hands. Tears streamed down my face as my patient husband listened to my ramblings. I lamented the cluttered counters, the sink of dirty dishes, the piles of laundry, and the list of more important things still undone.

I thought about my responsibilities at church: the women’s class on Sunday, the kids on Wednesday night, the Christmas program that is yet unplanned, the help my pastor-husband needs from me and the requests still unanswered. I thought of hurting children and broken families and how inadequate I am to make a difference.
Read More »

Posted in Life | Tagged , | 8 Comments

Has truth ever made you weep?

I have never heard more convicting words than these. I wept in my car as I listened to my audio book.

Speaking of the veil that covers our hearts and prevents us from approaching God, A.W. Tozer says the following in The Pursuit of God in Chapter 3, Removing the Veil:

This veil is not a beautiful thing and it is not a thing about which we commonly care to talk, but I am addressing the thirsting souls who are determined to follow God, and I know they will not turn back because the way leads temporarily through the blackened hills. The urge of God within them will assure their continuing the pursuit. They will face the facts however unpleasant and endure the cross for the joy set before them. So I am bold to name the threads out of which this inner veil is woven.

It is woven of the fine threads of the self-life, the hyphenated sins of the human spirit. They are not something we do, they are something we are and therein lies both their subtlety and their power.

To be specific, the self-sins are these: self-righteousness, self-pity, self-confidence, self-sufficiency, self-admiration, self-love and a host of others like them. They dwell too deep within us and are too much a part of our natures to come to our attention till the light of God is focused upon them. The grosser manifestations of these sins, egotism, exhibitionism, self-promotion, are strangely tolerated in Christian leaders even in circles of impeccable orthodoxy. They are so much in evidence as actually, for many people, to become identified with the gospel. I trust it is not a cynical observation to say that they appear these days to be a requisite for popularity in some sections of the Church visible. Promoting self under the guise of promoting Christ is currently so common as to excite little notice.

One should suppose that proper instruction in the doctrines of man’s depravity and the necessity for justification through the righteousness of Christ alone would deliver us from the power of the self-sins; but it does not work out that way. Self can lie unrebuked at the very altar. It can watch the bleeding Victim die and not be in the least affected by what it sees. It can fight for the faith of the Reformers and preach eloquently the creed of salvation by grace, and gain strength by its efforts. To tell all the truth, it seems actually to feed upon orthodoxy and is more at home in a Bible Conference than in a tavern. Our very state of longing after God may afford it an excellent condition under which to thrive and grow.

Self is the opaque veil that hides the Face of God from us. It can be removed only in spiritual experience, never by mere instruction. We might as well try to instruct leprosy out of our system. There must be a work of God in destruction before we are free. We must invite the cross to do its deadly work within us. We must bring our self-sins to the cross for judgment. We must prepare ourselves for an ordeal of suffering in some measure like that through which our Saviour passed when He suffered under Pontius Pilate.

Let us remember: when we talk of the rending of the veil we are speaking in a figure, and the thought of it is poetical, almost pleasant; but in actuality there is nothing pleasant about it. In human experience that veil is made of living spiritual tissue; it is composed of the sentient, quivering stuff of which our whole beings consist, and to touch it is to touch us where we feel pain. To tear it away is to injure us, to hurt us and make us bleed. To say otherwise is to make the cross no cross and death no death at all. It is never fun to die. To rip through the dear and tender stuff of which life is made can never be anything but deeply painful. Yet that is what the cross did to Jesus and it is what the cross would do to every man to set him free.

Let us beware of tinkering with our inner life in hope ourselves to rend the veil. God must do everything for us. Our part is to yield and trust. We must confess, forsake, repudiate the self-life, and then reckon it crucified. But we must be careful to distinguish lazy “acceptance” from the real work of God. We must insist upon the work being done. We dare not rest content with a neat doctrine of self-crucifixion. That is to imitate Saul and spare the best of the sheep and the oxen. (emphasis mine)

I have no words.

Read The Pursuit of God online.

Posted in Book Commentary | Tagged | Leave a comment

6 Do’s and Don’ts for Pastor Appreciation Month

Since it’s pastor appreciation month, I’ve been thinking about what people should and should not do to appreciate their pastor. Here is my list of six Do’s and Don’ts.

    DON’T

  1. Don’t compare him to a TV evangelist. Nothing is more discouraging for your pastor than to hear: “Pastor, the only two people I like to listen to are you and (insert name of charismatic yet entirely unbiblical, heretical, fancy-suit-wearing television evangelist). Both of you bless me every time I hear you!” When you say this, he’s questioning his communication skills and your capacity or logical thought. Even if you think it’s a compliment, don’t risk it!
  2. Read More »

Posted in Ministry | Tagged , , | 6 Comments

But I thought we weren’t supposed to curse?

Last night, at the end of a busy weekend, my middle girl crawled up into her daddy’s lap. She has a habit of avoiding bedtime by any means possible. She will bring her Bible to read a few verses with Daddy. We’ve not found a way to thwart the “I want you to read my Bible with me” stall before bed.

A couple of verses in, she looked at her daddy and asked, “But I thought we weren’t supposed to curse?” Since this question had nothing to do with their current reading, we had to dig a little deeper.
Read More »

Posted in Life | Tagged , , | 2 Comments