I’ve recently taken a break from my blog because of life’s distractions, general insecurity, and too many competing priorities.

Finally, I’m back!  After several weeks of over-obligation, I decided to step back and just think.  Hubby and I took a few days to get away, JUST the two of us, to a quiet spot in East Tennessee where we could be free of our responsibilities for a few short days.  We did very little other than sleep late, read, talk, shop and eat.  How’s that for the perfect couples get away?

While we were away I realized a few things.  First, I have really missed writing.  It’s something I deeply enjoy and it helps me to arrange the thoughts that swarm through my brain and put them on paper, to organize them, to read them more objectively, and to consider them on a deeper level.  No matter what happens in the future, I will write, even if no one wants to read it.  For me, this is a very exciting realization; I’m turning a new page.

Second, I make too many decisions based on what I think other people’s expectations are.  I think most women do!  So, I’m really trying hard to make decisions without weighting too heavily what other people will think.  I barely have enough room in my brain for my own voice let alone these:  my family, my kids, my boss, my coworkers and our congregation.  I value the opinions of many of the people on this list.  I understand that my decisions impact them in significant ways.  But, only I can know what God is telling me.  Only I can hear his voice to me.  That should be the first place I turn, not the last.  It seems that I often ask everyone around me what they think about a situation and then ask God “Which person’s opinion is right?”  Most of the time I think his answer is “None of them!”

This quote from the great George Muller illustrates what I would like to someday say about how I’ve lived my life.

There was a day when I died, utterly died. Died to George Muller, his opinions, preferences, tastes and will — died to the world, its approval or censure — died to the approval or blame of even my brethren and friends — and since then I have studied to show myself approved only unto God.

Third, new levels of focus and self-discipline must erupt in my life to get where I believe God is leading.  I don’t know exactly everything this means yet.  Right now, it’s adjusting my schedule to make time for what God has called me to do.  I want to say that I’m adjusting my schedule to make time for what I enjoy, because it’s partially true.  Right now, what God has called me to is a task that I enjoy, but there are other things I enjoy that are going to take a back seat.

Finally on a lighter note, life is too short to be so blasted serious all the time!  A good clean belly-laugh might do me good from time to time.  My husband has taught me this lesson quite well recently.  He and the kids made up a family song about our dog, Chewy.    It was sparked by a comment I made about her incessant chewing and it will be forever imprinted into the minds of our children.  Sometimes, I hear the kids singing it out loud to themselves in their room.  Sometimes Chewy sings it herself (in a unique voice performed masterfully by my better-half).  Rolling-on-the-floor-laughing is a mild description of our response to his heartening performance.  I considered trying to sneak a video camera into this masterful family musical, but I will spare him a little bit of his dignity.

Sometimes, goofy is very good.